The thing about feedback it that the only real feedback we can give to another person is 'how we experience them'. That's the only 'truth' I can offer another person - my experience of them in a given situation and of course, they of me. Thats because everybody's truths are slightly different - an experience/event goes through our own set of values, beliefs, past experiences and filters and comes out as a 'perception'. That's a perception we own and therefore we call it our 'truth'. But to call it the truth is perhaps not quite accurate.
I say this because we as coaches are in the feedback-ing (is there such a word!) business daily and it's easy to come across as being judgmental. Using phrases such as 'my experience of you in this situation was....' may be helpful. After all, we only offer feedback (and we should be offering it rather than just giving it) because we believe the client/athlete/player will use the information to become better and that we have faith in their potential.
Responsibility.....I like to define it as showing an 'ability to respond' in any given situation by being accountable for and owning one's own thinking and behaviours. A critical component to being mentally tough in a sport such as tennis but a huge life skill as well.
Unwittingly as coaches we can take responsibility away from our players by consistently, and with good intent (after all isn't this what the client pays us for? Aren't we the experts?), providing them with our solutions to their problems. This seldom creates awareness, builds confidence or creates ownership and responsibility for action beyond the lesson. The player's answers will always be more powerful than those provided by the coach because of what it requires of the player/athlete to get to that answer by themselves - a shift in perception, engagement and awareness. The player's answers are far more likely to be owned, with a greater sense of responsibility for making them happen.
Parents too....by 'helping' are your rendering your kids 'helpless'?
Very much worth a read if you are involved in youth sports of any kind and at any level.
I referenced Epstein and his early book 'The Sports Gene' in my own book Everyball - it's a drum I've been banging for a long time.